Thanks for the psychotic new icons, Tumblr development team.  As if I needed any further reasons to feel manic logging into this website whilst I piss & moan & surf exotic pornblography.

& thank you, internet friends.  For being the dutiful subjects of my unfettered ambivalence.  That I relegate you to the sinking depths of intentional neglect & you continue to peruse my musings confirms that you are all what I have long suspected you to be:

imaginary.

It is good to be back.  The entire universe has inverted for me this week so I felt it an appropriate time to resume chronicling the furious shitstorm of existence as it pertains to moi. 

Constantly does the pendulum swing back & forth between attachment & impermanence for me (as I imagine it does for many new to Buddhism).  Perhaps even so with those more experienced.  I am doing my best right now to balance the incredible pressure & responsibility with a calm attitude & critical mind.

Not drinking, not smoking, not doing drugs = a really good recipe for getting shit done, in case any of you struggle to succeed in your most basic goals of Being A Functioning Member of Society.  If you cannot attain nirvana, try sobriety.

My friends are helping me overcome the new challenges before me.  & to realize which ones I will not overcome; the hulking failures that haunt us.  You are your shadow & all.

& you brought everything full circle today.  Back to when I was seventeen years old.  I nearly choked when I saw your name flash across the screen.  Like an apparition.  Like a ghost.  Chilling that you have that effect.  Lavender nostalgia with a hint of seasickness.

But thank you for saying hello. 

I was beginning to think I had made it all up.